For Love of a Doctor

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So ... today.... Ohhhh today.
Today was one of those days that things just weren't
getting better. Rainy pretty much all day,
semi- crazy day with the kids (at work)
and then a call from the Doctors.
A nice nurse explains to me I need to
give her a fax number so she can send
a request for a blood draw for me
and i don't have a fax machine,
and the fax machine at Stewart's student center
is busted so I was running out of options fast,
I quickly just told them to go
ahead and send it to my school ...
then I started to freak... no one at work knows
i'm pregnant ... they are going to see the paperwork
AND KNOW I'M PREGO!

I was semi freaking out trying to figure out ways
to get to the paperwork and I obviously
couldn't break into the school's office
so I figured I would just have to suck it up and
let the secretary find it in the morning and
i'm sure she would be confused upon
looking at the paperwork...so I call my boss...
explain the situation a bit and he tells
me he is at school :D yay!
so he grabbed the paperwork and put it in my mailbox
sidenote: not sure if he glanced at the paperwork ,
so he MAY know i'm pregnant
hmmmmm

So much to worry about yet
I don't WANT to worry.
I wish this wasn't my KNEEJERK reaction
but of course I am going to worry...
Tomorrow will be the same day in my pregnancy
that I miscarried Elizabeth in November,
and while I know every pregnancy is different
I'm human and I fall back on what I know
and sadly all I know when it comes to pregnancy
is that I lose my babies, very early on...

THE GOOD NEWS
is that today I got prescribed some medication that
may possibly be the solution to the reason I'm miscarrying,
not sure yet and I will find out more
after the bloodwork comes back
but as of now I'm doing all I can
and because of that I know
I am being the best Mother I can be right now
and right now is all that matters.