pre-eclampsia- I. WAS. DEVASTATED.
Tears and anxiety, my whole birth was completely flipped on its head- I had to switch my care provider to someone I never met and place my birth in the hands of a hospital (which I have never birthed in before). My midwife was trying to ease my mind as much as possible but she prepared me that the doctor (attending) that will be taking care of me when I go in was hmmm how did she put it... basically he is not nice haha, which proved to be true, very true.
So she informed me that I will need to go to the hospital sooner than later and it had to be today and ultimately they will be inducing me. So many thoughts went through my brain and I think the hardest part of this part of my day was the "not knowing" what I would be encountering at the hospital.
I asked my midwife, if I could somehow go to the hospital in labor would that change anything? She told me that I will most likely be put on pit (pitocin) very soon after I arrive at the hospital so she wasn't sure it would matter much since anything I try on my own would take time.
So I scratched that and decided I just need to get to the hospital. My mom and sister had arrived at this point and leaving Caden was really hard. I had a lot of fear of the unexpected and really hard time letting go of all my expectations that had been so recently broken to a million little pieces.
After we left, I was just trying to process everything in the car. I arrived at the hospital with my hubby and this is where things got pretty frustrating. I arrived at the front desk and told them (they were expecting me) that I am here and they told me I was to wait to talk to the nurse. We sat there for roughly 30 minutes and then the nurse came to talk to us and we chatted a bit and she explained to us it's a mad house and that we are going to need to wait for a bed (I wasn't presenting with the very concerning pre-eclampsia headache) I just needed to wait to receive a room that was ready. Well,we sat in the waiting room and waited, and waited , and waited- it was probably about another hour and 15 minutes and then I started
getting a headache. I'm not sure if it was because of the pre-e, because I had been crying like a mad woman the whole day, maybe because I was 9 months pregnant and exhausted and my head was spinning because my world had just been turned upside down but yea I started to get a headache and had my husband tell the front desk that I don't need a bed I just want someone to take my blood pressure- the guy reassured me I was "about to" get a bed and to just sit tight--- another 45 minutes later no one had checked my BP (no one seemed too concerned and I mentioned to my husband who is a doctor that he should have just brought his cuff and read my BP right there, but we didn't bring it) well after 45 minute, so about 2 hours after the nurse spoke with us- we got taken back to our room. Did I mention this was after my midwife talked to the attending about when I should arrive at the hospital and he told her "3 hours ago"? But of course when I arrived, no one seemed even the slightest concerned. Anyways, it was around 6 pm now and you could tell they were slammed because we got taken into the room WITHOUT being officially triaged, our room wasn't stocked with anything and a tech was in there setting up the room.
We got settled and then I met with the midwife (the hospital midwife) which was crazy because they aren't typically working in the unit I was in but they were covering because all the residents were at a banquet and they were short staffed so the midwives that aren't typically there were and I found that an odd coincidence. After meeting with the midwife, we met the Doctor who was the attending for that night. This was when he explained the pre-eclampsia protocol and what medicine I would be on.
The timeline is little jumbled here but the midwife checked me and I was about 1cm and 50% effaced, then the doctor came back in and I was asking questions about my options for the medication like how they would handle my pitocin regime and also the option between different cervical ripening methods and then he decided to basically "put me in my place" by telling me basically to not question him and what methods he wanted to use to send me and keep me in labor and that my husband should know this because he went to medical school. I don't know why he decided explain to us his position in such a horrible way but of course it just broke me down and that little jab to my husband was of course completely uncalled for.
I was put on Magnesium (a.k.a. zombie juice) and then antibiotics ( a.k.a. burning juice) and given oral misoprostol (this was to help ripen my cervix). I wasn't started on pit like my midwife originally thought because the hospital thought it would not send me into labor and just make me uselessly contract (i'm so grateful for this) so they wanted to wait to ripen my cervix to prep me for the pit.
At this point it was getting late and I was having mild contractions and nothing was really happening, the Mag had kicked in completely and I was feeling hot and groggy and altogether lethargic and the IV was hurting and the penicillin was burning and I was just done. This is the point where I told Stewart I should just have a c-section if that is what it takes to get me out of this hospital and resolve my pre-eclampsia. He knew this was my exhaustion talking and also my complete break down of the day's events. Thankfully, he convinced me I should just take something to help me sleep and that is when I complied to the Morphine/Phenergan dose to help me sleep and boy did that make me loopy. I did sleep though and thankfully I realized looking back I was so grateful that my husband helped me realized how much I needed to sleep.
After getting through the night, they explained I should order breakfast before my next dose of miso because after I take it I can't eat . So I ate and then another dose of miso- then at 9:10 my water broke-
With Caden my water stayed intact until I was pushing him out so the fact that my water broke BEFORE I was in actually labor blew my mind. I was SO CONFUSED and it's funny because my mom had arrived at the hospital like 5 minutes prior. Still being on Mag and also being continuously monitored (fetal monitoring) I knew I would have to limit my laboring positions and I was limited to basically the side of the bed and also limited by the way my BP was reading, so if I had an elevated reading I would have had to get back into bed. Well, that never happened because my water broke in bed and then about 5-10 minutes after, I started contracting.
My contractions came in waves of 3, giving me a steady break in between. I hummed and sang and had music on in the background, the lights were low and all through the night prior I had essential oils diffusing and also in the morning-so the environment was very peaceful. I did everything I could to get through the contractions and about an hour and a half into them I had the first urge to push, coincidentally the resident came in and checked me right after I felt that first urge and told me I was 5-6 cm and that if I'd like an epidural that I should consider it now. Well, that was a mind trip because I seriously was thinking "I JUST HAD THE URGE TO PUSH, I CAN'T DO THAT FOR 2 MORE HOURS!" so I totally considered it- I'm not kidding- but thankfully my body knew what it was doing and about 20 minutes later I was fully dilated and basically crowning. So yea I had no time to even get the epidural and I never actually asked for it but I was so confused when she told me I could be a few hours away from birth when it was actually about 20-25 minutes (so glad I just focused in on my contractions and just did what my body was already doing) does that mean it wasn't painful ?! Heck no, it was quite painful but I was over very quickly -
Theodore Christopher was born at 11:34 am (after my water broke at 9:10) so a little over 2 hr labor !!!
and thankfully I didn't need pitocin or any type or instrument assistance or a episiotomy. So, when I look back with the amazing staff and nurses and all those who helped me stay healthy I'm grateful the birth was very close to what I would have wanted.
Stats:
Theodore "Theo" Christopher Mahler
Weight: 8lbs 1oz
Born at 39 weeks and 2 days
Time of Birth: 11:34am
Length: 18 1/2 inches
at Strong Memorial Hospital
Reflection:
I realize how much Theo being born at the hospital instead of at home was a blessing in disguise because I wasn't low risk anymore, if I seized at home, it could have been catastrophic and very dangerous. I was supposed to be at the hospital and I know coming to terms with that at the hospital was my biggest hurdle. Although the doctor could have been more eloquent, I do think changing my perspective of the "type" of pregnancy I became was vital. I think that helped me grow more at peace with transferring care and more accepting of my environment, and possibly more able to birth naturally and quickly.
I thank God for my midwives who were able to detect this problem and thankful for there compliance to their code of ethics and ultimately their responsibility to me as a patient. I'm thankful to all those who were thinking about me and praying for me during the course of this pregnancy and over the past weekend. I'm thankful for skilled doctors and nurses and for modern medicine. Most especially I'm thankful for the gift of Theo, for him showing me that everything is a gift, even after the crazy series of events I praise God for
this blessing in disguise.
Now for pictures!!
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| Last belly picture!!! 39 weeks and 1 day |
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| Baby Theo |
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| Baby and Mommy |
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| Baby and Daddy |
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| Look at that Hair! |
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| First Family Picture ! |
