All a Flutter

So, sorry I have been away from my blog for a while
I've been  pretty busy and last week was my "spring break".
I get one of those cause I'm a teacher :)

Anyways on my spring break I was able to visit
my alma mater... Franciscan University!
It was great to see so many wonderful friends!
Also, I love surprising people so that was fun.

Oh yea another AWESOME thing that happened
in Steubenville...

I HAD AN ULTRASOUND!
and guess what I saw... BABY'S HEARTBEAT!
<3

My best friend was by my side
(sidenote: hubs was back home studying in Arkansas)
and it was amazing. At the end of the visit two of the ladies
prayed with me! It was such a blessed experience.

My baby's new (non official) due date is Nov 15th
and I'm 7 weeks today :)

Spring Break was awesome I got some Qtime with a lot
of my loved ones , only drawback... the drive there and back !!
Driving 10 hours there and back without caffeine is not something
that is very pleasant but I can say that I don't think I'm ever going
to try and do that drive again unless I have a buddy in the car with me!

The Tide

source

Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

How perfect those words ring true for me...
Life's ever-changing... always passing away ...

always renewing itself

I can see how a reflection of life

can truly be a reflection of God

Ultimately, because the essence of life is God

I was at a conference yesterday and one of the speaker

spoke such words of wisdom... here are her words...

"Where there is life , there is hope"

It struck me so hard... especially because I feel like

it was exactly what I needed to hear... 

like a message straight from heaven

My little one is growing ever so quickly in my womb 

yet everyday I have with my baby is a gift... every single moment...

Will be baby ever make it into my arms ...perhaps not

But my baby will someday make it into heaven's arms

... that is what I pray.

Grown Up Stuff

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I hate being a grown up...
I spent so much time wanting to be grown up
and BAM now i'm there and it really sucks sometimes...

to make this short...
Grown Up Fails:
- more responsibility
-bills
-customer service representatives
-insurance problems/issues/ANNOYANCES
-fax machines
-taxes
- changing of addresses
- MAIL ISSUES (aka, people not sending things to the right address)



Grown Up Wins:

+more responsibility
+working for your own money
+taking care of your health and body
+ being old enough to get married
+having BABIES
+growing your family
+buying a home
+building your life...


Unfortunately , you can't have much of the above without health insurance, car insurance, bills, rent/mortgage, and a doctor. So I guess we all have to just suck it up :P


On to some new events with my little one...

So as you know, I got PROG SHOTS (progesterone) on Wednesday
and I think I'm gradually losing the soreness (yes I know it's friday) and guess what tomorrow is!!!
SHOT DAY AGAIN! hahahaha but I got my progesterone level back today and I'm in the normal range, so that's good news but they will be continuing the prog support , which I love and hate cause I love that Dr. Hilgers is continuing to take care of me and taking all the necessary precautions but I hate that these shots are so unpleasant...

I'll leave you on a happy note...
It's Friday ;)

One, Twice, Three Times...

A NEEDLE!

hahaha I got stuck three times today:

1) a blood draw (from some testing)
2) Progesterone shot numero uno
3) Progesterone shot numero dos !

So here I am my (rear) end aching but hoping for the best...
The things we do for love ...and babies ;)


Here's your GOOD NEWS:
I obviously got my progesterone in today which took only ONE DAY 
to come in, actually less than one day = awesome
also, today is the first day of LENT!
wahoo, i'm ready for a serious spiritual overhaul!!!
 

For Love of a Doctor

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So ... today.... Ohhhh today.
Today was one of those days that things just weren't
getting better. Rainy pretty much all day,
semi- crazy day with the kids (at work)
and then a call from the Doctors.
A nice nurse explains to me I need to
give her a fax number so she can send
a request for a blood draw for me
and i don't have a fax machine,
and the fax machine at Stewart's student center
is busted so I was running out of options fast,
I quickly just told them to go
ahead and send it to my school ...
then I started to freak... no one at work knows
i'm pregnant ... they are going to see the paperwork
AND KNOW I'M PREGO!

I was semi freaking out trying to figure out ways
to get to the paperwork and I obviously
couldn't break into the school's office
so I figured I would just have to suck it up and
let the secretary find it in the morning and
i'm sure she would be confused upon
looking at the paperwork...so I call my boss...
explain the situation a bit and he tells
me he is at school :D yay!
so he grabbed the paperwork and put it in my mailbox
sidenote: not sure if he glanced at the paperwork ,
so he MAY know i'm pregnant
hmmmmm

So much to worry about yet
I don't WANT to worry.
I wish this wasn't my KNEEJERK reaction
but of course I am going to worry...
Tomorrow will be the same day in my pregnancy
that I miscarried Elizabeth in November,
and while I know every pregnancy is different
I'm human and I fall back on what I know
and sadly all I know when it comes to pregnancy
is that I lose my babies, very early on...

THE GOOD NEWS
is that today I got prescribed some medication that
may possibly be the solution to the reason I'm miscarrying,
not sure yet and I will find out more
after the bloodwork comes back
but as of now I'm doing all I can
and because of that I know
I am being the best Mother I can be right now
and right now is all that matters.

She Builds On A Rock

baby <3

So,  Last week we found out we are pregnant!

This will be my new blog devoted
to the beginnings of mommyhood and our family.

The name of the blog comes from this bible verse...

"Everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock.The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house. But it did not collapse; it had been set solidly on rock." - Matthew 7:24-25

While my other blog focuses more on my spiritual journey, 

this blog will be centered around my family life and my baby

and of course include spirituality bits!

A little of my history,

Stewart and I lost our baby Delaney Lisieux in January of 2010

I wrote our first baby this letter on 

what would have been Delaney's birthday.

After losing our first baby I slowly but surely got back to normal

and time past and then in November 2010 

we found out again we were pregnant and now

Elizabeth Cecelia is in heaven with her sibling Delaney,

they are our family's intercessors <3

So fast forward to March 2011,

it was a Thursday when we found out about baby #3

and it was exactly a week after I found out 

I got into the graduate program at

the University of Arkansas for their Masters in Counseling.

Oh God you are so funny :)

Well here I am a few days later... 

wondering where I will be in one week, one month, one year...

Will I have another angel in heaven, 

will I have a baby in my arms, 

will I be in class for grad school?

So, here I am Lord at your feet 

praying to have a child in my arms

but knowing that you are God and you give and take away.

I need grace and strength to get through

this week, this month , this year... 

Please ...be my strength